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Favorite Quotes Season 1

Our collection of favorite quotes was getting too long on some of the individual episode guide pages, so we moved them onto their own page. As long as this page doesn't get too long, they will be broken down by season. Send us your favorite quote to be added to this page.

NOTE: The quotes contain swear words and have not been edited out.

Episode: 1&2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20
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#1 & 2) The Long Road (Part 1)
I have a warning for you. And a blessing. They're the same thing. More efficient that way.

The thunder will change you forever, but everyone you love will fall at the end of the world.

Then I'd be fucked. I would be so completely, supremely, eternally fucked that I don't even think there's a word for that level of fuckosity, you know what I'm sayin'?

I don't remember what went on before, and I don't give a shit. As far as I'm concerned, the only world that matters is this one, because because this is the one I've got to live in. Now, what came before, what's comes after, other people's shit ... it's not my problem. You know?

Well, generally I prefer to be on top, and usually there's flowers involved, but yeah ... I'm okay.

I don't pay for anything I already own, and if they're in my hand, well ... I own them.

Come on. Let me show you the world according to Theo!

Cheerleaders for everyone!

Well ... shit.

It's coming -- it's coming again.

Do I look like I'm shitting you? I mean seriously, is my face twitching or something that I don't know about?

Look, I screwed up one promise and I'm not gonna screw up another.

The stars. I know that the stars were a lot brighter then.

Playtime's over. Either let the world keep falling apart or we start building a new world out of the ashes of the old one. The shape that world takes will be determined either by us in here ... or by the monsters out there.

K: Now I see why these guys think they're so superior and all.
M: How you figure?
K: I ain't never seen nobody run that fast in my life.

    --Kurdy & Markus--

Someday I'll put it in the fire, and it won't burn ... and I'll know it's enough.

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#3) Man of Iron, Woman Under Glass
Even in the darkness, I know you're there. Is that a terrific metaphor or what?

S: Does this buckskin make my ass look fat?
J: That is one -fine- lookin' Native American ass.
S: My ass and I thank you.
J: You and your ass are very welcome.

    --Shashona & Jeremiah--

Don't worry citizen, you're safe now!
    --Captain Iron--

Markus, don't write checks your soul can't cash. I have to tell you, being Death Incarnate is a real bitch some days. The benefits are lousy and the pay stinks. But ... I get to make my own hours. And I get you. Not too bad a bargain, all things considered.

Strike me down, and I shall arise again.
    --Captain Iron--

CI: Bandits. Highwaymen. Raiders.
J: Assholes.
CI: Yeah, that too.

    --Captain Iron & Jeremiah--

The only way for John to avoid facing the truth, was for a hero to appear. So a hero had to appear, even if it was him. Or whatever is left of him ... still inside there.
    --Shelly Masters--

CI: Pretend like you don't know anything.
J: But I -don't- know anything.
CI: That's good. But not now. Wait until someone asks.

    --Captain Iron & Jeremiah--

I am Captain Iron and I will use my powers only for good, never for evil. I will fight injustice wherever I find it. I will help those who cannot help themselves. I am a spirit of justice and I am a spirit of vengeance and I will kick the ass of the unrighteous. I will be gentle, for the world is hard and I will be caring, for the world is harsh and I will be strong and I will endure pain and I will die bravely and I will make it all better again. So that the children will never have to look up in pain and wonder why they lost so much. Why so many had to die. Why they are still even alive because ... because no one should ever have to ask that question.
    --Captain Iron--

CI: Let's see, Manny's Diner ... 427 spoons, 422 forks--
J: You counted every spoon?
CI: Does 422 sound like I rounded it out?

    --Captain Iron & Jeremiah--

Never ask, never tell, they said, they said, never write the words, never say the words--
    --Captain Iron--

My death could be the only thing I've done with my life that matters. I hold onto that, Erin, because sometimes it's the only thing standing between me and madness. That ... and Markus.

Are you happy? Are you satisfied now? That's the way it works isn't it? You set us up, you take someone like him, give him hope, just so to take it away again? What did he ever do to you? What did any of us ever do to you? What did the whole fucking world do to -you- that we deserve all of this? I mean, come on the--the locusts and the death of the first born wasn't good enough for you anymore so now it's the death of the eldest? The death of heros?

You know what? Fuck you! Because we're not just going to lay down and die down here. You want to finish off the job? COME DOWN HERE! Do it yourself. You send down the angel of death, you better give him one hell of a big sword because I tell you what, we are going to kick his ass all the way back to the great white FUCKING THRONE! And then, we're coming for you. We're coming for you.

I'm a spirit of vengeance, and I'm a spirit of justice, and I will kick the asses of the unrighteous!

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#4) ... And the Ground, Sown With Salt
Everytime you tell a lie, Jesus bleeds.
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#5) To Sail Beyond the Stars
It's like a ... a caveman version of what the Internet used to be back when we still had electricity.

You talk about the Devil, he shall appear. You talk about the Burners, they shall fry your ass, brother.

Man oughta wear a sign around his neck, "Raised by mice."

Aw, man. Those are not baby backs. You seen any dogs since we got here?

Like I always say, he who hesitates ... gets fucked.

We have to save God from the end of the world. We survive, and God lives. So don't feel bad for where we are, 'cause we're fighting-- fighting for the soul of the world!

Beyond the horizon ... beyond the edge of the sea ... beyond the stars to see what's there, and who's left on the other side of the world.

I mean, some people got guns, and some people got flashlights, and some people got batteries. These guys had all three.
    --Pregnant Girl--

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#6) The Bag
That's right, my man. We'll cure that gangrene and it won't cost you an arm and a leg. You know what I'm saying?
    --Jake Davenport--
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#7) City of Roses
Wait a minute ... I read about this GPS. It's all satellite-Luke-Skywalker-space-shit.

This place ... the ark. Our only chance to start over. God tells Noah to build an ark, to make provisions. And just when the rains are starting to let up, what does he do? He sends a 500mm torpedo straight up Noah's ass.
    --Markus Alexander--

I am alone. Somebody come and get me.

You know, it's not -every- day a pretty girl gives me worms.

It's like throwing away your own umbrella in the middle of a shit-storm.

Really? I'm impressed. Your guys don't look like they could -spell- GPS.

K: It's like -everywhere- I look ... love and dying are wrapped up together.
K: You think it was always like that?
J: Wish I knew.

    --Kurdy & Jeremiah--

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#8) Firewall
M: But you're still here. Why?
Q: Clean living.

    --Markus & Quantrell--

No one, no one should die alone without a human hand to hold.
    --Dr. Sean Alexander--

I walked through the walls, following the steps of the dark man.

The future's comin' kiddies.
    --Major Quantrell--

Merry Freaking Christmas.

You want a war Jeremiah? Swords into plowshares, man. You want a piece of flesh. I want a piece of flesh. All God's children wants a piece of flesh. You want a war, Jeremiah? You want a war? You got a war.
    --Markus Alexander--

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#9) The Red Kiss
How could any of us known that nightmares ... really do come true.
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#10) Journeys End in Lovers Meeting
It's not quite something, but it's almost something, but it's definitely more than nothing. It's somewhere between something and nothing.

K: See, you give a kid a big old box full of shit.
K: Now some kids, they gonna see only the shit because that is what they are used to seeing, so they walk away.
K: But another type of kid dives in, digging like crazy.
K: 'Cause he figures, if there is -that- much shit ... there has got to be a pony in there somewhere.
J: Your mom said "shit"?

    --Kurdy & Jeremiah--

D: They consider themselves to be pall-bearers for the old world.
D: Here to bear witness to the end.
K: End of what?
D: Everything.
C: They believe that the grave once opened, does not close easily.
C: They say there is one more darkness yet to come.

    --David, Kurdy & Constance--

C: David doesn't believe in violence.
K: Oh yeah? Well, what about when violence believes in him?
C: He prays. A lot.

    --Constance & Kurdy--

J: It's nothing personal, it's just --
D: You don't trust me.
J: I don't trust you.
D: How is that not personal?

    --Jeremiah & David--

I wear hope around my neck,
Like a noose.
It's loose enough for me to breath what I need,
To get me through the day.


Could that be the paradise I'm looking for?
Or maybe I will never know.


Why do you want to piss in their pond? Huh? Just because you had a falling out with God, you expect everybody else to live in the same crap that you do.

The bible says, "What profits it a man to gain the world and lose his soul?" It never asks, "What profits it a man to gain his soul and lose his world?"

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#11) Thieves' Honor
Aren't you moved Sam? Because I am just about to emote. Oh! False alarm. MUST HAVE BEEN SOMETHING IN MY EYE!

K: Ball's in your court.
T: They sure ain't no where else.

    --Keith & Theo--

J: See, now that? That makes me mad.
T: Oh? And what am I? A portrait of serenity?

    --Jeremiah & Theo--

How about I ram my foot so far up your ass, your kidneys give me a shoe shine?

Now with all the baggage you are carrying around, I doubt you'll ever be free.

J: I thought I would wait until we were both a little drunk.
M: And if I can't wait twenty minutes?

    --Jeremiah & Markus--

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#12) The Touch
I never said geddyup.

This is some bad mojo, man. This is some Kool-aid sippin', mass suicide type shit.

Ka: God ... that's nuts.
Ku: Almonds to be precise.

    --Karin & Kurdy--

I find trust something of a narcotic. In small doeses it's relatively harmless... You just don't want to mainline it.
    --Lee Chen--

K: Abstinence, man... the number two killer in the world today.
M: And what's number one?
K: Believing liars.

    --Kurdy & Marta--

Your sickness is a fear of the mind. You are afraid to leave them as you were left. I know the lonliness. Every orphan knows it. The great night approaches, but do not be afraid. When your darkness comes, you will be forgiven.
    --Indian Apparition--

Well sure. Legalize sex and next thing you know, people start smiling.

The scary thing is not the end ... the scary thing is seeing it coming.

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#13) Mother of Invention
It makes my nipples hard just thinking about it.

J: It would be wrong.
M: You're right. It would be a terrible burden.
J: It would.
M: Well, I think they can handle it.

    --Jeremiah & Markus--

Hey, don't blame me for your charisma malfunction.

J: You ask an awful lot of questions.
M: Yeah, 'cause I'm the one holding the knife and I want to hear you talk.
J: Put the knife down and maybe I'll talk.
M: You talk and I'll put the knife down.

    --Jeremiah & Michelle--

You sanctimonious piece of shit. You -dare- stand there and act like you're the one who's been betrayed. Fuck you!

[I]t may not be worth anything to anybody now, but it -is- our history ... in inks and oils and in stone.

Kurdy, you ever been going down a road and take a left turn instead of a right, only when you go back ... the road isn't there anymore?

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#14) Tripwire
E: Is he -always- like this?
K: Only when he's awake.

    --Erin & Kurdy--

J: You know, they only crucified Christ once.
K: That's because he stayed put.
K: You keep sliding down off the nails.
K: Somebody's got to shove your ass back up there every once and a while.

    --Jeremiah & Kurdy--

Someday down the road, remember that I was the one to tell you this first: If this place falls, it will be because of Jeremiah.
    --Lee Chen--

I'll tell you something about questions, Kurdy. They're like papercuts. You get one good one, that's pretty much all you need.

Now, people with electricity or 'copters or guns, that's trouble enough, but you show me one group of people in all of this who have the free time and the resources to produce fresh, clean, new underwear? That's something to worry about.

I say we bury him in bunny ears. Make it easier to find him in hell so we can kick his ass clear across the afterlife. [...] Pink bunny ears, with bells on them.

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#15) Ring of Truth
J: 'Cause if you get the wrong kind, they will kill you. I know my mushrooms. Trust me.
K: No way. If you know the difference between good ones and poisonous ones, you're straight.
J: And how do you tell the difference?
K: The poisonous ones will kill you.

    --Jeremiah & Kurdy--

K: Now, you don't see me dropping dead do you?
J: Ask me again in about an hour.

    --Kurdy & Jeremiah--

J: I feel a little weird.
K: No ... I feel a -lot- weird.

    --Jeremiah & Kurdy--

I see an iguana ... in lederhosen.

J: An elephant just woke me up!
K: Well, an -asshole- just woke me up.

    --Jeremiah & Kurdy--

Well, when it comes to matters of the heart, I think all of us are fools sometimes.

Today made me realize, that even after everything we've been through--the joys we experience as children, can live as long as we do.

 ^ Top ^    
#16) Moon in Gemini
You are proud of being black. That's great. So am I. I am also proud of being me.
    --Elizabeth Munroe--

Honey, if I have to answer that question, you've got more problems than I do.

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#17) Out of the Ashes
Well, I hope they are not organized with that Dolby Decimal thing because I never did get the hang of that.

Yeah, I've got a thing about libraries, man. They're more sacred than churches to me and if somebody wants to pillage this temple, they've got to come through me.

[T]here is no past. They're just shadows we call memories. There's no future either ... the occasional glimmer of hope. All we really have a shot at holding on to is right here, right now.

But he doesn't have to know how to read to know that these books--that all books--feed us. They nuture us.

Now how are we to know where we are going, if we don't even know where we've been? These books are our bridge to our past. They allow us to touch other lives--generation upon generation--artists, philosophers, poets. We let them die, we're burning those bridges. We let those words die, we are killing our history as well as our future. These assholes are coming back and if we don't pull together, we lose. It's as simple as that. We lose.

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#18) A Means to an End
I did -not- get up at the crack of sparrow-fart to be muzzled by you two.

K: Do you think she wears panties?
T: (Yells from afar) I heard that! (Flips off Kurdy)

    --Kurdy & Theo--

T: Are they usually this happy to see you?
J: No, usually they give us milk and cookies.

    --Theo & Jeremiah--

But I'm righter than they are.
    --Markus Alexander--

You're starting to sound a lot like a camp counselor from Camp Notalottafun. It's ok! I can walk--I can walk. I can handle walking. It's the spinning and the gravity I'm having trouble with.
    --Markus Alexander--

Theo does not run, honey. I might walk fast, but that's just the shoes. You hear what I'm saying?

See? That is just the thing. In the world outside these walls, hope can -kill- you. And I just don't know if I'm up for that kind of pain.

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#19) Things Left Unsaid (Part 1)
K: Hey, I need a good word that rhymes with "existential".
J: Presidential.
K: No, President's dead.
J: That's what makes it existential.

    --Kurdy & Jeremiah--

K: All right now, you're gonna do this calm like we planned, right?
J: Yeah, calm's my middle name.
K: Too bad your last name is "Before-The-Storm".

    --Kurdy & Jeremiah--

And to tell you the truth Jeremiah, some days I think you've got a fucking death wish. And I don't wanna be around you when the Fairy Godmother of Darkness decides to grant you your wish.

You see, I got a -real- simple philosophy. If it ain't nailed down, it's mine and if I can pry it up, it ain't nailed down.

De-contamination proceedures don't work. We have to burn the bodies. The darkness is coming. There's no one left to play with anymore.
    --Little Girl--

Oh, this is getting more interesting by the second. If things keep going like this, I -may- have to start selling tickets.

Your pals were here. Jeremiah and Kurdy. Tweedle-dumb and Tweedle-dumber. Which is which? You make the call.

 ^ Top ^    
#20) Things Left Unsaid (Part 2)
So, if you see anybody ... approaching, you know just let me know somehow. Throw something. Make a noise. Fart!
[coughs and waits for a reply]
It's like talking to my own armpit.

    --Jeremiah (to an absent Ezekiel)--

E: For what was, what is, and what is yet to be.
J: You know, if you're always gonna talk like a goddamn fortune cookie, there's not much I can do for you. So, good night.
E: There is nothing you can do to help me. And nothing you can do to help your friends. All I can do is try to keep you alive. With or without your help.

    --Ezekiel & Jeremiah--

J: You get any sleep?
E: I don't sleep.
J: Ever?
E: Ever.
J: Insomnia?
E: Memories.
J: Same thing.

    --Jeremiah & Ezekiel--

Elizabeth, I have loved you since the first time you spoke to me, and it didn't matter if you knew. It didn't even matter that you loved me back, 'cause for that one moment, I had the kind of love you only get once in a lifetime. I mean people spend their entire lives looking f-- ... Elizabeth?

We gather here today in a common cause, because the desires that unite us are greater than the forces that divide us. We look with awe at the artifacts of the past, believing that we will never again know such greatness. But greatness is only a matter of will. It is the end result of patience, determination, direction and strength. And we who have grown up in the shadow of the Big Death, have those qualities in abundance.

We have made mistakes, but we have learned from them. And what we have learned most, is that we cannot trust our future to those who can only see the past.

Tonight, we stand together, united for the first time. In the coming days, we will carve out the framework for a new country and a new future. Because if we fail to do so, others will do it for us and generations yet unborn, will live to regret our failure.
    --Markus Alexander--

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The Two Towers (Extended Edition)
The Two Towers (Extended Edition)
(Sean Astin DVD)
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